Assignment Two: Tutor Feedback

 

My Response

My feedback for assignment two was mostly positive, with some helpful pointers for improvements on some images, and for future assignments. My tutor said that 'expressiveness through extrapolation of the basic requirements' was starting to be evidenced in some of my images; it is pleasing to know that I'm moving in the right direction, and my work is developing accordingly.

In the feedback for assignment one, my tutor suggested that my work for assignment two should be about ‘recognising these possibilities (the compositional structures) in the world while composing in the service of another idea’, but in this feedback noted that I had instead taken a different approach. To be honest, I thought that I was taking my tutors advice, and thought that I had taken the very direction suggested; it appears I may have misinterpreted my tutor's original statement.

Perhaps some of my images were too 'shape obvious'; even though I was keen not to simply arrange some still-life objects into various shapes, and instead set out to find them in the real world. I was mostly being guided by something mentioned in the course materials, about making the subject subordinate to the shapes/lines, so that the said shapes/lines are the first thing the viewer noticed. Judging by my tutor's comments on the individual images, he seemed to think the better pieces were the ones where the compositional structures were present, but not so obvious.

Single Point: This was one of my favourite images, but my tutor brought attention to the fact that the contrast between the sky and buildings caused a very light band at the top of the image, which is a distraction to the viewer. I'd definitely agree with this, and it is something I'll be careful with in future work.

Two Points: My tutor mentioned that this could be construed as five points, and this certainly occured to me during the making of the image, however I played it a bit risky and thought a viewer may simply view the bridge as a backdrop, rather than points in themselves. My tutor seems in two minds about this, so I suppose it could be taken either way, depending on who was viewing the image. He also remarked on the black line at the very top of the image due to the crop being distracting; I'd agree with this, but it is easily solved with another very small crop.

Several Points: My tutor found the oars pointing towards the swan's amusing! It certainly creates an element of interest in the image in my opinion.

Vertical and Horizontal Lines: I think this was my tutor's favourite image in the set, in the report he says: 

Vertical and Horizontal Lines is very atmospheric and is one of the images where the meaning, the narrative element, transcends the compositional structure rather than being subordinate to it. 

Excellent, a success! More like that in future please.

I'm very pleased with that comment, and seems to shed more light on our conflicting ideas of how the assignment should have been completed.

Diagonals: My tutor mentioned that he created a similar image as a first year photography student, and says:  'Again this is one of the images that transcends its overt purpose'. I can see what he means, in the sense that the diagonals help strengthen the composition of the image, but aren't the main focus. Instead the narrative and poignancy of the image is the focus.

Curves: Fits the bill of showing curves. It was mentioned that I should make sure I keep verticals vertical and horizontals level unless intentionally attempting to destabilise the viewer. It certainly wasn't intentional in this image, and just requires a little straightening in photoshop.

Distinct, Even if Irregular, Shapes: This was not one of my favourite images in the series, but seemed to go down very well with the tutor. I think it is worth quoting verbatim here:

'this is another one where, as I said above, you've noticed an element that’s taken the image further than just illustrating what was required; reusing the tracery as a frames within a frame to contain an iconic English church tower with fluttering flag.

This reminds me of the British Neo-Romantics such as John Piper, the Shell Guides, Britain’s post war recovery in the 50s, Graham Sutherland’s Coventry cathedral tapestry.

Along with the bench these images represent more, they’re metaphors for a whole host of feelings that they evoke.'

The frame within a frame technique is something I've used before, notably in the exercises for part one of the course. I think by this point in analysing my tutor's feedback I'm getting the gist of what he is looking for in this assignment - compositional structures as supporting elements to a strong narrative.

Implied Triangle 1: My tutor remarked that there was an element of narrative here.

Implied Triangle 2: 'because of the subject matter and its black and white tonality has a curious 50s feel to it that rather goes with Distinct, even if Irregular, Shapes'. 

That's the feeling that I get with this image too.

Implied Triangle 3: My tutor said that it demonstrates a triangle as a formal exercise. In this image I clearly wasn't looking to tell a story as much as I was wanted to accentuate the shape and half-timber design of the building.

Rhythm: My tutor said: 

'supplies an excellent stage for some narrative to develop upon, the bicycle hints towards that but perhaps an additional element is required, say someone walking into or out of the frame right to left'.

This image was my own take of Michael Freeman's image featured in the course materials, where I use a bicycle rather than a person. The idea of using a bicycle AND a person hadn't been considered by myself, and I purposely waited for the scene to be clear before taking the image. This was because I thought that too many elements in the frame would detract from the 'rhythm' idea. I can certainly see how a person walking right to left in this image would make it more active and give a greater sense of storytelling though.

Pattern: My tutor thought that the colourful balloons being portrayed in black and white made this image suffer slightly, and suggested including a part of the seller in the image. This is the exact problem I had pondered myself, and ultimately decided not to include the seller. I did take image with the seller included on the day though, so it will be easy to choose an alternative image.

Closing remarks:

'Overall all the images perform the overt function intended but some of them exceed that to become engaging images that are progressive in their own right and this is the direction we should be going in.'

This is very pleasing in the sense that all of my images were 'suitable', but that some went above and beyond the assignment brief in terms of storytelling and viewer engagement. This evidently means I'm moving strongly in the right direction, and I intend to focus strongly on narrative in assignment three.